just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
