apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize