I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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