What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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