ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Randomize