Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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