yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
