i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
