don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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