Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
