If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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