Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just made my gag reflex go away.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We have started to decorate penises.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
