How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
