in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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