I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
