i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if only i could text you this smell
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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