i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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