So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
