I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
