I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
