I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize