I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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