I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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