I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Randomize