i need an iv and a liver transplant
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
