You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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