so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
