AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
