About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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