i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
