I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
