airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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