he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
