just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize