Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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