i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize