Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
