no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
