I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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