There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
