chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
