how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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