He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
