We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
