I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
