i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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