Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
