I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
