You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
