sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
