I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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