i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
