I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
