Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
