So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
