I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
