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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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