Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
