I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sorry about my life...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
