eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
