I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
