The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
