Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
