i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
