why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I need moral support for this bender
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
