I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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