New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my sisters under your porch take her home
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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