I must be too annoying 4 u.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
