I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
