i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
