I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My life is pants optional.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize