its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
