is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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