The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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