hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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