You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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