as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
