i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Your cock deserves a montage
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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