Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
