Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you traded sex for a burrito?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
