Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
