I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
