yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
