Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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